life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person
by 90bonfire
Summary: ONESHOT my take on Rossi/Carolyn (pre-show) may be a trigger


**A/N**_ I'm sure this has been done before but this little plot bunny has been bothering me so I wrote my own take on it._

_I'm not Catholic so I apologize for any mistakes I may have made in refinancing those traditions._

_I do not own _**C.M **

Ten months ago the world had seemed perfect, to David Rossi. He'd spent his days hunting, ducks deer and monsters. Carolyn spent hers transforming the two bedroom apartment into a home they could be proud of.

The way she'd brought that place to life was amazing to him. He'd started renting it before he met her. It had seemed cramped and run down at the time but it was the best he could afford on his government salary.

Then she'd become his wife and slowly the apartment had started to come alive. Dirty plastic blinds where replaced with hand sewn curtains. The stench of cheap cigarettes that had hung in the air since before he'd moved in was replaced by soft floral.

Stains in the carpet disappeared, and empty lonely silence had been replaced by her laughter.

he loved the way she used to laugh.

The most remarkable change had been to the second bedroom. Originally it had been used to store whatever the couple didn't feel like dealing with or didn't have a place for. Childhood toy's, text books from collage, and even Carolyn's wedding dress. All piled up and where shut away.

Until Carolyn found out about the baby. Suddenly they both found it so much easier to let good of the relics of the past to make room for this new person. Carolyn worked her magic night and day turning the beat up storage room into a lovely nursery.

For months the two of them carefully saved small amounts from his pay check. Until they felt the baby's strong little kicks then they took there small savings and bought a crib set.

Carolyn wanted ducks but the store only had frogs, So she'd settled for them. she thought they weren't as cute, but David thought they where perfect since Carolyn always said when the baby moved it felt like a little frog jumping in her stomach.

It was a kind of happiness David had never imagined. There wasn't a word to describe it because this happiness had never existed before his child.

And life was perfect.

Until ten months ago.

he'd been working on a case in Pennsylvania when he'd gotten the call that Carolyn had gone into labor and was having complications. The drive home had been the darkest time of his life* by the time he'd finally arrived at the hospital he was too late.

He found Carolyn sitting alone in the hospital bed starring down at her much smaller stomach. "Care?" he whispered and took her hand she didn't look at him or squeeze his hand back. "My baby's gone." She whispered he closed his eyes and pulled her head ageist his heart "he's dead." She continued. David couldn't hold back the sob in his throat. It was the first time he'd heard the sex of the baby. And hearing it made his child feel more real and somehow even farther away.

Suddenly Carolyn pushed him away. "He died." She shouted. "He died and you weren't here." David starred at her tearfully "I wanted to be." he plead. "you know I did, you weren't due until next month-"

she fell apart ."this wasn't my fault." she screamed and fell over crying. David caught her and held her tightly. "I know honey that's not what I meant" he told her even though he knew she wasn't listening he looked up to see a nurse standing in the door way "Mr Rossi would you like to see the baby before we take him to the morgue?"

David froze. No, no he didn't want to see his son. not like this. For the first time in his life he wanted to run away, but he knew he had to see him.

Had to let him be real even if it killed him.

It was the only thing he could give his son. To let him have a face to his name and not just to become a distant idea or memory of what might have been. He needed to see him and to bare witness of his son.

He nodded his head slowly and the nurse wheeled the tiny cart in.

It took every bit of Davids strength to walk over to that cart and peer down at the tiny lifeless body in front of him. The dream he would never hold. His son was perfect. he was the most beautiful person David had ever seen.

The days that followed where hell.

Caroline could not be comforted and spent most of each day curled up on the day bed in the empty nursery leaving the rest up to David. He planned a funeral when he should have been planning a baptism. he picked a certainty plot when he should have been picking Godparents.

He hated every second of life for weeks, pulling himself though it only because Carolyn had shut down completely.

He lost himself in trying to make everything perfect for his son. He couldn't think about Carolyn. Couldn't take on her pain in addition to his own.

Even if he could have she had completely shut him out along with the rest of the world.

The worst part came when they had to bury James. After all the funeral guests had moved on to the wake Carolyn wouldn't leave the grave.

David knelt down beside her what is it?" he asked her gently. She shook her head. "I can't leave him David." he brushed her hair out of her eyes. "we have to." he told her. She hung her head "when I leave they'll put him underground" she whimpered "it's so dark" she bit her lip and started t cry again "and its cold and there's no air so he can't breath" David swallowed "Carolyn he's dead" he whispered "he doesn't need to breath" she nodded again "I know, but I just can't...he'll be all alone David"

David kissed her cheek. "He's going to be fine. I promise you "he told her "he won't be cold or afraid and he'll never be lonely. You and I will come back every day if you want, and I've already bought the plots next to his so when the time comes we'll all be together alright?"

She finally looked at him. "you did?" she asked a spark of hope showing behind her eyes for the first time in days. he nodded "yeah I did" she leaned her head on his shoulder "thank you"

once the funeral was over David had nothing to distract him from his pain so he thew himself back into his work, but the horrible things he saw coupled with his grief where beginning to take a heavy toll on him.

he never wanted to be home anymore, to pass by that empty nursery. He didn't want to see Carolyn hurting every moment trapped in this endless pain he could never heal.

He took every case he could, and when he couldn't work he went on hunting trips.

Somehow though it still surprised him when Carolyn asked for a divorce. He'd been sure once the pain had healed they'd be alright, but he hadn't thought about what sitting alone all day in the apartment he couldn't stand had been doing to Carolyn. He was beginning to realize this pain would never heal.

It seemed like he barely had time to absorb that his marriage was over before he found himself sitting across from her between two lawyers settling the details of the divorce. There had been so many chances since she'd asked him for the divorce, so many times he could have tired to change her mind, but he hadn't even tried.

part of him was relived and desperate for an escape by the time it was over. He couldn't stand any of it anymore.. knowing they'd knowing he could never be her hero again. they'd both lost faith in everything. The time had come they both needed to hit a reset button in there lives.

ten mouths ago he never would have imagined this was where his life was going. he shook his head and signed away his marriage, his family, his Carolyn.

**A/N**_ so It's not my favorite thing I've ever written and there are tons of mistakes I'm sure. I don't have a beta so I'm sorry for that._

_as far as the drive being the"darkest of his life" I'm really unhappy with that line but with no jet or cell phones and from what they say on the show about Rossi's early days in the B.A.U I'm guessing he didn't even have a partner to talk to _

_it was the only thing I could come up to describe a drive like that I had to write this out in a hurry but even I think that line is a little over the top._

_Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it._


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